退休后，丈夫在咖啡店出钱找“工位”After retirement, the husband spent money in a coffee shop to find a "workstation"
（来源：南湖晚报）
转自：南湖晚报
N晚报记者 韩瑜超 整理
边女士：我丈夫今年6月退休，退休前他在单位是个小领导，管着十几号人，虽说不是什么大官，但在那几十平方米的办公室里，他也是个说一不二的人物。每天早上一进门，倒水的、递文件的、请示工作的，围着他团团转，他也习惯了那种被需要、被簇拥的感觉。
退休了，清静了，就是清静得有点吓人。一开始那几天，他就在家窝着，看电视，从早看到晚，我嫌他的腿挡着我扫地，他嫌我唠叨。后来我发现不对劲，每天上午8点半，他穿戴整齐，拎着那个用了七八年的旧公文包，跟我说：“我出去了。”我问去哪儿，他含含糊糊地说：“转转，找个地方看书。”
我心里“咯噔”一下，这一转就是一整天，下午5点才回来，跟以前下班打卡似的。我这个人吧，心里藏不住事，直接问又怕伤他自尊。那天早上，他前脚出门，我后脚就跟上去了。我戴着副大墨镜，围了条丝巾，跟做贼似的。他也没往别处去，就进了附近的一家咖啡馆。
我隔着玻璃门往里看，他熟门熟路地走到角落里一个靠墙的位子，把公文包放下，然后去柜台。他没用手机点单，掏现金买了一杯咖啡。店员小姑娘都认识他了，笑着跟他打招呼。
他端着咖啡回到座位，把公文包打开，掏出一副老花镜、一本笔记本，还有一支笔。然后就那么坐着，一会儿写写画画，一会儿端起杯子喝一口，眼睛还时不时往门口瞟。有人推门进来，他还会下意识地直一直腰板。
我在门外看得又好气又好笑，他那本笔记本我后来偷偷翻过，哪有什么客户，全是手抄的养生食谱和天气预报。他是把这儿当成他的新办公室了，来来往往的陌生人，恐怕都被他当成了下属和客户。
连着跟了几天都是这样。每天，他就靠那一杯咖啡，在那儿扮演一整天的领导。他需要那个环境，需要那种感觉，晚上回到家，又会变回那个沉默寡言的老头。我想跟他聊聊，又不知道怎么开口，戳穿他吧，让他这张老脸往哪儿搁？以后还怎么出门？不戳穿吧，看着他每天花钱去买一个虚幻的“工位”，我这心里头真是又酸又涩。
前两天吃晚饭时，他忽然没头没脑地说了句：“有名气的咖啡，也就那样。”我憋了半天，回了一句：“是啊，哪有家里的茶实惠。”他没接话，扒拉了两口饭，起身去看新闻了。第二天上午8点半，他把公文包一拎，门又“咔哒”一声关上了。唉，我这当妻子的，到底是该装糊涂，还是该想个法子，把他从那个“工位”上拽下来呢？
万姐有话说：退休，对有些人来说，是兴奋和期盼，而对热爱工作或习惯了被仰视的人来说，是失落和不适。这位丈夫每天去咖啡馆，并不是贪恋咖啡的味道，而是想拽住那个被人尊重、拥有身份的自己。对他来说，这是一个痛苦的过渡期，他需要时间来适应退休生活。作为妻子，与其跟踪，不如多找机会和丈夫聊聊，不用拆穿，而是关心地问问他白天外出干什么去了。你也可以陪他出去逛逛公园或旅游，培养他的兴趣爱好，当他找到退休后的人生价值，自然就不会再花钱去咖啡馆坐一天，一定会慢慢搭建起新的生活支点。
(Source: Nanhu Evening News)
Transferred from: Nanhu Evening News
Compiled by Han Yuchao, a reporter from N Evening News
Ms. Bian: My husband retired in June this year. Before his retirement, he was a small leader in the company, managing more than ten people. Although he was not a high-ranking official, he was also a decisive figure in those tens of square meters of office space. Every morning, as soon as he enters the door, people pouring water, handing over documents, and asking for work instructions circle around him. He has also become accustomed to the feeling of being needed and surrounded.
Retired, quiet, just a bit scary. In the first few days, he stayed at home, watching TV from morning till night. I found his legs blocking my sweeping, and he found me nagging. Later on, I realized something was wrong. Every morning at 8:30, he dressed neatly and carried the old briefcase that had been in use for seven or eight years. He said to me, "I'm out." When I asked where he was going, he mumbled, "Take a look, find a place to read
My heart skipped a beat for a moment. It had been a whole day, and I didn't come back until 5 pm, just like I used to clock in after work. As someone like me, I can't hide things in my heart, and asking directly is afraid of hurting his self-esteem. That morning, he walked out with his front foot, and I followed him with my back foot. I was wearing a pair of sunglasses and a scarf, as if I were a thief. He didn't go anywhere else, just entered a nearby caf é.
I looked inside through the glass door, and he walked up to a wall seat in the corner, put down his briefcase, and then went to the counter. He didn't use his phone to place an order and paid cash to buy a cup of coffee. The shop assistant girl already knows him and greeted him with a smile.
He returned to his seat with his coffee in hand, opened his briefcase, and took out a pair of reading glasses, a notebook, and a pen. Then he just sat there, writing and drawing, taking a sip from his cup, and occasionally glancing at the door. If someone pushes the door in, he will instinctively straighten his waist.
I looked both angry and amused outside the door. Later, I secretly flipped through his notebook, but there were no customers. They were all handwritten health recipes and weather forecasts. He sees this place as his new office, and strangers who come and go are probably treated as subordinates and clients by him.
It's been like this for several days in a row. Every day, he relies on that cup of coffee to play the role of a leader for the whole day. He needs that environment, that feeling, and when he comes home at night, he will turn back into that quiet old man. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how to speak. Let's expose him and let his old face go somewhere? How will we go out in the future? Let's not expose it. Watching him spend money every day to buy an imaginary 'workstation', my heart is really sour and bitter.
A few days ago, during dinner, he suddenly blurted out, "Famous coffee is just like that." I held back for a while and replied, "Yeah, there's no such thing as affordable tea at home." He didn't answer, took a few bites of rice, and got up to watch the news. The next morning at 8:30, he picked up his briefcase and the door closed with a 'click'. Alas, as a wife, should I pretend to be confused or come up with a way to pull him off that 'workstation'?
Wan Jie once said: Retirement, for some people, is excitement and anticipation, but for those who love their work or are accustomed to being looked up to, it is loss and discomfort. This husband goes to the coffee shop every day, not because he is obsessed with the taste of coffee, but because he wants to grab onto himself who is respected and has an identity. For him, this is a painful transition period and he needs time to adapt to retirement life. As a wife, instead of following her, it's better to find more opportunities to chat with her husband, without revealing anything, but to ask him what he did outside during the day with care. You can also accompany him to go out for a stroll in the park or travel, cultivate his interests and hobbies. When he finds the value of his retirement life, he will naturally not spend money to sit in a caf é for a day, and will gradually build a new life pivot.